Why is it when you are really happy with something, it is suddenly taken from you?  Why is it that when you're comfortable with something, it gets complicated after?  And, why is it when you are starting to build a great foundation in your friendship, that certain undetermined circumstances makes it difficult to continue?  These are just some of the questions that keep popping in my mind for the past two weeks.  But the weird thing is I know the answer...I guess, sometimes even though you know the answer to your question, once that problem or situation comes knocking at your door, you get a temporary memory lapse and you just poof, don't know what to do.  i guess, that once faced with a situation by far, you never expected that you'll encounter, it is better to hear the answer form other people/ advise from other people even though that at some point, you know it and you're even the one saying those things to your friends when they're the ones asking for advice.  Or probably, it feels good hearing it from others, and knowing the fact that you let go, confided with them and they listened to you. 

The problem is, I don't want to be selfish.  I know it's never a goodbye.  It'll only be two weeks and a friend of mine will leave.  Actually it supposed to be me,but I guess a little twist of fate turned things around.  I hate goodbyes, because it just brings pain in me, well, its just in my case.  I guess, certain circumstances in my past caused a trauma in me that ever since, i hated it...I just feel like its the end, although when I'm thinking rationally, I know it'll never be the end.  Sometimes when you just look someone turn their back at you and start walking, pictures just fade...that's what i see in goodbyes...i feel like its the start of things drifting away.  I know she's better of there, and that decision was also hard for her, I'm not mad at her, not at all.  But I can't help but cry, no matter how hard I try not to, tears just keep pouring out.  Its just that sadness is overflowing in me.  Things just keep popping in my head, like, am I a good friend? or why, why is it that she is taken away from me, like what happened in my past, with my older friends...its like history always repeats itself, I thought I'm already numb...since it "always" happens...but no, everytime, it gets even worse, more painful.

I know it is God's will...and He has planned this...for the better.  I just need help, take this pain I'm feeling.  Please God, help me understand more...help me conquer this pain and see the light.  Help me see Your reason...help clear my mind. 

I got this forwarded email from my cousin, it's so nice, simple, but it is meaningful. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

TAKE TIME TO LIVE...

To all my friends and loved ones, I wish you enough!

Here it goes...

Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together
at the airport They had announced the departure.
Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said
"I love you and I wish you enough".

The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough.
Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom".

They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window
where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry.
I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking
"Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?".

"Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever goodbye?".

"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral" she said.

"When you were saying goodbye, I heard you say 'I wish you enough'.
May I ask what that means?".

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from
other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone".

She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail
and she smiled even more.
"When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to
have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them".

Then turning toward me she shared the following as if she were reciting it
from memory ---

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain
to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit
alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much
bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough
loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish you enough hellos to get you
through the final good-bye.

She then began to cry and walked away.

The other day I just watched the movie Coach Carter.  The movie was good, well of course it has basketball in it and plus it has a good story too.  Anyway, coach Carter asked a question to one of his players "What do you fear most?" One player answered, it caught my attention because, it is quite true. After the movie, I just had to have this quote.   Well, here's the full text from the movie.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is
that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our
darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be
brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not
to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the
world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within
us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our
own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do
the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence
automatically liberates others."

I heard from a source that this quote was read by Mandela at his inauguration in 1994, but he was not the original author. The quote was written by Marianne Williamson. It comes from her book, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles." 

Moreover, some people, when asked this question, would say...heights, death, pain, loneliness, destruction, or even the end of the world...etc..and so the list goes on.. Each has his own fear, probably that fear triggered from a terrible past experience that led to trauma or possibly, one hasn't taken a chance/ risk to take it, doesn't even know what its like, but fears it most because he doesn't want to be caught off guard, or rather he fears that he'll become weak once he take that risk. 

I myself, have a lot of fears, well, not to the point that I'm terrified, petrified and stupified.  I guess I haven't got to the point to really fear something, like some see on others.  I have fear of heights, closed spaces etc...but I'm not really scared, well, maybe just a little.  But asked that question, "What I fear most?"I know I fear most is losing my family and loved ones.  I don't want anything to happen to them.   I guess, I know the pain of losing them...that is why I fear it.

It's simple to know your fear, but realizing it and conquering it takes time and courage.  That is why, I in my all might do everything so as nothing could go wrong/ or nothing wrong happen to my family and loved ones.  I know, there will come a time that things won't turn out the way I planned it, where things are not in my hands, couldn't even grasp it.  But I guess this fear that I have needs only three things to overcome it, that is, love, trust and faith in God.  There's a reason I have that fear, God gave me that fear...to face it.  I may not be facing it now, but I know in time I will.  And when that fear challenges me one day...I'll be prepared, just as God has prepared that fear so as for me to be stronger, to be a better person, disciple.

THE THREE THINGS IN LIFE

Kind Regards,

Three Things In Life:

*Three things in life that, once gone, never come back -

Time, Words & Opportunity

*Three things in life that may never be lost -

Peace, Hope & Honesty.

*Three things in life that are most valuable -

Love, Faith & Prayer

*Three things in life that are never certain -

Dreams, Success & Fortune

*Three things that make a man -

Hard work, Sincerity & Commitment

*Three things in life that can destroy a man -

Lust, Pride & Anger

*Three things that are truly constant -

Father, Son and Holy Ghost

I ask the Lord to bless you, as I pray for you today;

to guide you and protect you, as you go along your way.

His love is always with you, His promises are true.

And when you give Him all your cares, you know He'll see you through.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I have learned so much from your beautiful words...Thank you for your jokes, it was really helpful...especially at times that we all needed a good laugh...Thank you for your advices, it made me strong and look at life differently...Thank you for your everyday hi's and hellos..it sure made my days...thank you...thank you for being a good friend, so dear, so kind, so generous..thank you dear brother, for with you I learned a lot of things, about friendship, love, faith and life...You will forever hold a special place in my heart...God needed an angel, so soon... that we were not even prepared, I guess God planned this...and it was so sudden because he needed Lance to be an angel, and watch over us...

I will miss you brother, friend...thanks again, for everything...your journey to heaven begins...

Don't be dismayed by good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.
Richard Bach

When we meet the right person to love when we're at the right place at the
right time. That's chance. When you meet someone you you're attracted to,
that's not a choice.  That's chance.  Being caught up in a moment (and
there's a lot of couples who get together because of this) is not a choice.
That's also a chance.

The difference is what happens afterward. When will you take that
infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level?
That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you
want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.

If you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that's not a chance.
That's choice. When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that's
choice. Even if you know there are many people out there who are more
attractive, smarter, and richer than your  mate, and yet, you decide to
love your mate just the same, that's choice.

Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that
lasts is truly a choice. A choice that we make.

Regarding soulmates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so
true about this: "Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to
make it happen."

I do believe that soulmates do exist. That there is truly someone made for
you. But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do
something about it or not. We may meet our soulmates by chance, but loving
and staying with our soulmate is still a choice we have to make.

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have
trouble remembering how to fly."

I got these pictures from an email.  Christ laughing.. really beautiful...I don't know who drew this, but they sure are an eye treat!! 

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, To have a deep soul relationship with another, To be loved thoroughly and exclusively, But God to a Christian says: "No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me, With having an intensely personal and unique Relation with Me alone, Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, Will you be capable of the perfect relationship That I have planned for you. You will never be united With another until you are united with Me, Exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing One that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to give it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things; Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM; Keep listening and learning the things that I tell yo u. You just wait, Do not be anxious, do not worry, Do not look at the things you want; You just keep looking off and the way up to Me Or you will miss what I want to show you. the one I have for you is ready (I am working even at this moment to Have both ready at the same time), Until you are both satsisfied exclusively With ME and the life that I have prepared for you, You will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies Your relationship with Me, And this is the Perfect Love. And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your Relationship with Me, and to enjoy Materially and concretely, The everlasting union of beauty, perfectness, And love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you utterly. I am God. Believe, and be satisfied."

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

GOD answers prayer in 3 ways:

HE says Yes and gives you what you WANT

HE says NO and gives you something BETTER

HE says WAIT and gives you the BEST in his own TIME.......

God Speaking

The man whispered, "God, speak to me"
And a meadowlark sang. But the man did not hear.
So the man yelled "God, speak to me" And the thunder & lightning 
rolled across the sky. But the man did not listen. The man looked 
around and said, "God, let me see you."
And a star shined brightly. But the man did not see. And, the man 
shouted, "God, show me a miracle" And a life was born. But the man
did not notice. So, the man cried out in despair, "Touch me, God,
and let me know you are here" Whereupon, God reached down and 
touched the man. But the man brushed the butterfly away and walked
on.

I found this to be a great reminder that God is
always around us in the little and simple things that we take for
granted. . even in our electronic age . . .

The good news is that you are loved. Don't miss out on a blessing 
because it isn't
packaged the way that you expect it to be.

Natural Highs

* Falling in love.
* Laughing so hard your face hurts.
* A hot shower.
* No lines at the Super Walmart.
* A special glance.
* Getting mail.
* Taking a drive on a pretty road.
* Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
* Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
* Hot towels out of the dryer.
* Walking out of your last final.
* Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.
* Chocolate milkshake.
* A long distance phone call.
* Getting invited to a dance.
* A bubble bath.
* Giggling.
* A good conversation.
* A care package.
* The beach.
* Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter.
* Laughing at yourself.
* Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
* Running through sprinklers.
* Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
* Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
* Laughing at an inside joke.
* Friends.
* Falling in love for the first time.
* Slumber parties.
* Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
* Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep. 
* Your first kiss.
* Being part of a team.
* Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
* Playing with a new puppy.
* Late night talks with your roommate that keep you from sleeping.
* Having someone play with your hair.
* Sweet dreams.
* Hot chocolate.
* Road trips with friends
* Swinging on swings.
* Watching a good movie cuddled up on a couch with someone you love.
* Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and drinking eggnog.
* Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing alone without feeling stupid.
* Going to a really good concert.
* Getting butterflies in your stomach every time you see that one person.
* Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
* Winning a really competitive game.
* Making chocolate chip cookies!
* Having your friends send you homemade cookies!
* Spending time with close friends!
* Running through the fountains with your friends.
* Riding a bike downhill.
* The feeling after running a few miles - an accomplishment!
* The feeling you get the first time you step on stage.
* Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends...
* Holding hands with someone you care about.
* Wearing your boyfriend's shirt that still smells like his cologne.
* Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
* Discovering that love is unconditional and stronger than time.
* Riding the best roller coasters over and over.
* Hugging the person you love.
* Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much-desired present from you.
* Kisses on your forehead from the first and only boy you have ever loved.
* Watching the sunrise.
* Getting out of bed every morning and thanking God for another beautiful day.